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[12 Jul 2004|09:12pm] |
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I do not exist here any longer. Catch me if you can.
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| now and forever |
[30 Mar 2004|10:08pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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Well, maybe it's time to be clear about who I am. I am someone looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming... can't-live-without-each-other love.
- Carrie Bradshaw, Sex And The City -

. . . . .
Smith: Hey babe, I flew back
Samantha: You flew all night, why?
Smith: I forgot to tell you something on the phone... I love you.
Samantha: You flew back to tell me that?
Smith: Can you think of a better reason?
Samantha: No, I can't. You have meant more to me than any man I've ever known.
- Sex And The City -

A beautiful last episode. A girl searching for love and true happiness, and finally finding it; somewhat cliche but nonetheless, heartwarming. I'd be keeping this journal until April 6th and then I would move off to a new address. There's too much past in here that I have to leave behind. So I'd be posting my address in a friends' only entry, those who aren't from LJ and want to continue reading, write me an email: papertulips@hotmail.com.
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[25 Mar 2004|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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starved for romance |
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he whispered, "you look fucking wonderful tonight." says: hello jason how come you didn't send her home today?
you know i used to be.. such a nice boy says: cause zz she was going town to meet zz
he whispered, "you look fucking wonderful tonight." says: urgh i know how tt feels
you know i used to be.. such a nice boy says: no u dont i had mc for today i came late quarrelled with the guard.. with the operations manager just to come to school so i could send her home
If I could choose my next boyfriend's personality, it would be jason's. {no doubt about that}
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| lucky for you, tonight i'm just me. |
[25 Mar 2004|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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I've been writing a lot recently, just not here. I guess I use writing as a way to unwind, to stop thinking -- it's so much easier that way when you're lost in words. Life's not kind, in fact it's difficult but less than I thought it would be.
...And maybe it's lighter because of him.
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| oh, not i... |
[21 Mar 2004|06:50pm] |
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mood |
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determined |
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I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give.
NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE.
I refuse to sink into this any further.
almost done!!! says: yawnnn
almost done!!! says: so feeling better?
never want to [feel] the way we were. says: hmmm nope. but i should start.
almost done!!! says: hmmmm
almost done!!! says: yeah u shld
Thank you, especially my lovely ddgs, for listening to my ramblings and rantings. I won't be broken with desire. As Mariah Carey sings whilst I sit here typing out this entry "You coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face", I've come to terms with things I cannot have; now I'm just pretty content with the things I still do. Love was never meant to hurt and it had been hurting too much of late, maybe it just was not there anymore. So in the end, it was a blessing in disguise.
I used to cry, but now I have to hold my head up high.
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